Behind the Damacy
by Pikfan
Summary: This is what the cousins do when they're not rolling a Katamari. Rating changed to T for Ch. 3
1. Introducing the Katamari

**Behind the Damacy**

It's a never ending story about what happens if the cousins weren't rolling the Katamari to do whatever the King of all Doofuses broke.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Katamari series. Namco does.

Chapter 1: Before the Katamari Exsited

Prince decides to go back into his house after a hard day on Earth. But once he got back, he was surprised to see Honey in his house.

* * *

Prince: Oh my Sheesh!! What are you doing here...UNINVITED!!! 

Honey: Sorry if I scared you. Just wanted to give you something kind of cool...Man, you looked exausted! What happened to you?

Prince: Well, Earth pisses me off at times.

Honey: What do you mean, Earth is a wonderful place to visit!

Prince: Maybe to you, but here's what happened to me.

(Memory)

Soccer Girl: Hey you, watch out!

(Soccer Ball hits Prince.)

Soccer Girl: Hey, are you okay little dude?

Prince: Yeah. Thanks for caring about my painful injury.

Gang Leader: Hey! Step away from my girlfriend, Leperchan Man!

Prince: Leperchan Man?

(Gang leader kicks Prince away from the school.)

(After that, Prince landed on a construction site...where he got run over by a bulldozer.)

(Then, he got hit by a wrecking ball to the circus.)

Prince: Let me guess, I'll get steped on by elephants, right?

(No, silly. You'll get crushed bu a stegosaurus, of course.)

Prince: Oh crap.

(After getting stepped on and swalloed by the dinosaur, Eventually, (I won't get into details of that, of course.) he got out.

Prince: That is it! I have had it with this planet! It sucks!! Someday, possibly today is when I get you...

(Then Prince got rolled over by a clown on a unicycle.)

(Reality)

Honey: Wow. Did all that happen to you? Harsh.

Prince: Yeah. Now is there something that I can help you with.

Honey: Oh right. I just wanted to give you this thing I made myself.

Prince: Wow! What is it?

Honey: Well, I haven't named it yet.

Dipp: Call that either a piece of crap or a gay sticky ball! That's why she's giving it to you.

Prince: Dipp! What are you doing at my house?

Peso: Well, Dipp and I didn't find any open clubs. So we came in here instead. But really, what is that?

Prince: Well, Honey haven't named it yet.

Honey: I've got the perfect name for it, but it may sound kinda stupid.

Dipp: You look stupid

Prince: Hey! Shut up! Now what was the name in your mind?

Honey: Well, I've decided to call this wonderous ball, the **Katamari.** So how did you like the name?

(Dipp and Peso start laughing there heads off. Prince kind of chuckled too.)

(Then Lucha peeked through another window along with Velvet.)

Velvet: Hey guys? What's so funny?

Lucha: Yeah? I can't afford to miss anything since we've read Dasiy's diary.

(Memory with Lucha, Peso, Dipp, and Prince reading Dasiy's diary.)

Lucha: Come on, Dipp. Turn the page.

Dipp: Here's a good one. _Dear Diary. This may seen wierd, concidering that we're cousins, but I think Kuro is one of the hottest things on Earth. I even made of me and Kuro doing it! Moo! _That's so sweet!

Prince: Well, what are you waiting for?

Peso: Ooh! Turn the page in suspense!

Dipp: Turning...turning...OHHH!!! That's nasty! (Everyone starts laughing.)

Dasiy: Hey guys. What're you're reading? (Then silence flew through.)

Lucha: Ummm, nothing to important is all.

Dasiy: Wait a minute. Is that my... YOU'RE READING MY DIARY!!! (Runs off crying.)

Prince: Maybe we should stop reading now.

Peso: I guess you're right...hey, turn the page!

(Reality)

Dipp: Honey is an idiot! She named that thing a Katamari...What a nut!!!

(After that, everybody, even Prince, start roaring up a storm.)

Honey: It may be a stupid name, but does that Dickhead Dipp have to make fun of me?? Wahhh! (She cries then leaves.)

Velvet: Way to go, Prince!!

Prince: Hold up a second!

(Somewhere in deep space.)

King: They see me rollin. They hatin. Protroling and...OH MY ME!! I'M GONNA CRASH!

(So then, the King destroyed every star, planet, and all in the universe...except one. It was Prince's Planet with a floating mushroom.)

(Back at Prince's house.)

Prince: Wow. I sure feel bad about this; even if I didn't do anything!!! (Prince grabs the 1 cm Katamari.) What does this sticky ball do anyway? I wonder...

(Moments later.)

Prince: Well, here goes nothing.

(Prince then rolls up all of the grass, mowing the lawn for him. When he was done, the 1 cm Katamari grew into 5 cm.)

Prince: Woah! This thing is so big that I have to roll up the Katemoki...whatever. How does it do that anyway?

(So Prince pushed the Katamari around his yards to mow up all the grass in the planet.)

(While doing that, the King noticed the Prince rolling up the grass with the Katamari.)

Prince: Well what would you know. 20 cm worth of grass. Thank you Honey for this wonderful lawn mower.

King: My boy. What is this mockery you used to mow the lawn?

Prince: Oh Honey gave me this. She said it was a Kakamaki...or something like that?

King: I don't care if all the people on Earth gave you that. Just get it out of sight!

(Then the King threw Katamari up in the air...and it recreated Earth.)

Prince: Umm, dad? What did you do the stars and my gift?

(So the King told his story about how he crashed everything in the Universe.)

King: And I guess that special ball recreates anything at it's right size. So I'm giving you an assignment.

Prince: Let me guess. You have to make Honey and me make Katamaris for you to fix all the stars? Hey. I finally pronounce it.

King: Are you kidding Me? Honey and your other cousins could make the Katamaris. You roll those Katamaris up in Earth so I can turn these stars back to normal.

Prince: Well, at least I can finally have my revenge on that pesky planet.

* * *

A/N: Yes! It's the end of this chapter. And I won't make another one until I get a positive review. See ya later. 


	2. Preparation of Star 1

**Behind the Damacy**

It's a never ending story about what happens if the cousins weren't rolling the Katamari to do whatever the King of all Doofuses broke.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Katamari series. Namco does.

Chapter 2: Prepreation of Star 1

* * *

Last chapter, Honey made the first Katamari ever, and decide to give it to Prince. He thought it was the fastest and easiest lawn mower ever.

Meanwhile, the King decides to take a stroll around the Universe, then suddenly crash into everything in the Universe except the Prince Planet and Mushroom Planet.

When the King arrived, he threw away Prince's katamari off to space, which made Earth by itself again! So now the King has ordered Prince to roll more of these and make stars.

Prince: So what you're saying is that you want tiny little me to roll up big 'ol Earth, correct?

King: That is correct, my shrimpy son.

Prince: And I can roll up anything with the Katamari?

King: Anything suitable for the size.

Prince: Whatever...I got to tell everyone to make the Katamari!

(At the Mushroom Planet)

Peso: Why do you think Prince has brought us here this time?

Shiako: It better be important. I'm missing my T.V shows!

Every other cousin: (Loud mumbles and personal conversations)

Prince: SHUT UP, EVERYONE!! (Silence) Thank you. I have an announcement! Yesterday, Honey made this unique ball called the Katamari...and I thought it was the best lawn mower ever. But when my dad threw it into space, it formed Earth!

Dipp: What are you talking about, retard?! Earth was already there!

Prince: You must be kidding. Don't tell me that you didn't see the King destroying every star and planet?

Dipp: This is the stupidest piece of crap since Velvet's last commercial!!

_(Memory)_

Doctor: I'm sorry, Velvet, but there's no way to get your legs back.

Velvet: Oh, Sheesh!! You got to be kidding!!

Announcer: **Got milk?**

_(Reality)_

Prince: I'm serious!! All we have to do is to make more Katamaris so we can get all the stars back!!

Nik: You say that we actually have to work!? Do we look like bees to you? Because unlike bees, we do no work at all!

Prince: First of all, yes, Nik, you do look like a bee. And second of all, it's your lazy ass not doing any work.

Peso: He does have a point, guys. Without the stars, I can't see myself dance!

Dipp: Which is why we have disco balls!! Look, Prince; there is no way we are gonna help you!!

Havana: But making Katamaris can be baddass and fun!

Dipp: But if you do come with me and ignore retard, you could get a cookie.

Havana: Sorry, Prince, but there's an awesome cookie on the line.

(Every cousin left Prince...Katamari-less. Moments later, Honey came back to Prince with three Katamaris.)

Prince: Honey? What are you doing here?

Honey: First of all, cookies don't agree with me.

_(Memory)_

Nik: Come on, Honey! Get your ass out of their! I gotta go!

Honey: You know how constipated I am with cookies!!

Announcer: **Got milk?**

Honey and Nik: Will you shut up?!

_(Reality)_

Prince: That's not the real reason you came back, right?

Honey: True...the real reason is that I felt so proud of you sponsering my Katamari. So here are a few to start you with.

Prince: Gee, thanks, Honey. I knew you was the kindest cousin.

Dipp: (Offscreen): Honey! Where are you! You need to bake those cookies.

Honey: (Sigh) I guess I got to get going.

(Moments later after Honey left, the King showed up.)

Prince: Honey gave me three Katamaris to start up with.

King: Starting, maybe. But you'll need a ton of more Katamaris for what we have to go through.

Prince: ASS!!

* * *

Chapter's over!! Expect the third chapter soon when there's actually gameplay involved (sort off.)


	3. Star 1 and Beyond

**Behind the Damacy**

It's a never ending story about what happens if the cousins weren't rolling the Katamari to do whatever the King of all Doofuses broke.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Katamari series. Namco does.

Chapter 3: Star 1 and Beyond!

* * *

So Prince made a lot of Katamaris along with the Queen because no one will help him.

Prince: Thanks for helping me with these Katamaris, mom.

Queen: No problem sweetie. I'm always glad to help you fixing your father's mistakes.

Prince: Yeah. My cousins wouldn't help so much as well because of that dickhead Dipp!

Queen: Prince of all Cosmos!! Such language!!

Prince: (Sigh). Sometimes I wish that I could change my name to Prince Gilligan Griffin...but it was taken.

(An hour later)

King: So are you ready to fix y_our_ mistakes?

Prince: Hold up...MY MISTAKE?! It was your fathead stupid self who destroyed everything!!

King: I'll take that as a yes. Now go, my son!!

(After that statement, the King threw Prince to Earth and made him break a roof of a random man's house.)

(2 hours later, Prince woke up from his concussion.)

Prince: Ugh! Where am I?

King: You are at the start of your mission, my son. You must roll a 10cm Katamari from this 5cm.

Prince: Why can't I just use the 10cm Katamari?

King: Just do it already!!

Prince: No comment.

King: Due to your smart mouth, you have only 3 minutes to roll a 10cm Katamari.

Prince: Why the hell are you timing me?!

King: Good luck on your mission, my son.

(The King's instruction head left.)

Prince: Now that is just creepy. Let's get cracking.

(So Prince rolled to his first obstacle...the mandarin piece.)

Prince: Aww, come on! Why isn't this thing on the Katamari?! This is stupider than the time Havana argued with the log.

_(Flashback)_

Havana: Why hello there. What's your name?

Log:...

Havana: Do you hear me? I asked for your name.

Log:...

Havana: So that's the response I'll get huh? Well you just lost my million french fry offer.

Log:...

Havana: Well screw you too! (Leaves.)

Log: Okay, guys; he's finally gone!

(2000 logs came and partied.)

_(Reality)_

(So Prince decides to push the orange piece out, but before he knew it, he slipped and fell on his face on the mandarin. Then he got up.)

Prince: WOAH!! That was the best thing I've ever eaten! It's better than the time Honey made chocolate pancakes!

_(Flashback)_

Honey: Hey, Prince. I brought you these pancakes if you don't mind.

Prince: Wow! Thank you, Honey...hey! This never happened before!

_(Reality)_

Prince: (Sigh). If only dreams can come true. I'll just finish this mandarin and get back to rolling. What harm can happen?

(So Prince ate and finished the mandarin piece.)

Prince: Man that was wonderful...wait...why am I here again? Holy crap!! The Katamari!!

(Prince notices that the Katamari was still 6 cm.)

King: You only have 1 minute left.

Prince: Oh sheesh! I've gotta get rollin!!

(So after paniking, Prince went back to rolling the Katamari as fast as he can. Unfortanately, Prince had 9.9cm by the time the minute was up.)

King: So Prince. How was your...now just wait a minute. That Katamari is way too small to make Star 1!

Prince: (Nervously) Can't I just pick up the battery to get that?

King: And you would make fun of Our athorities to?! (Angrily) Get to where We're at immediately!!

Prince: (Quietly) At least I know where I'm at.

(Now let's look at the cousins while Prince is being screamed at).

Ace: Hey guys! It looks like Prince is in trouble again! I'll be at the Bench planet if you wanna watch.

Dipp: Well, I got nothing else to do, so yeah. I just need my video camera.

Peso: Why would you need your camera for? The King always yell at Prince once a week.

Dipp: Yeah, but it's funny if the Prince did something serious. And that looks serious.

_(Cutaway to the Prince and King)_

(The King uses one of his unused trumpets and puts it in his mouth and used that to yell at the Prince)

Prince: One of these days the King is gonna have a heartattack.

_(End cutaway to the Bench Planet)_

June: Honey? What are you doing here? I though you hate seeing the King yelling at Prince.

Honey: I do, but I need to know which dress would look better on me is all.

June: Okay, why are you here?

Honey: I don't know. Part of me wants to help him out with the stars, and a tiny part of me says that we're only cousins.

Velvet: Don't tell me that you and Prince are like...in love.

Honey: Wait...what?! No! We're only cousins!

Velvet: But Honey. Cousins are like the most datable kinds of a family. Besides, we're the only ones of our species.

June: Maybe. But we don't die. We grow old, but we don't age...you see Velvet? This is why your not aloud to conversate with me. You just sound stupider than Nik when Dipp used mind control on him.

_(Flashback)_

Dipp: You got that clear Nik? Now say that perfectly to the first cousin you meet.

Nik: (Nodding) Duuuuh.

(June and Honey walks up to Nik).

June: Hey, Nik! Is it okay if I have 50 dollars?

Honey: Why would ask people that? They'll think your a hobo.

June: But Nik would give away anything unedible. So what do you say, Nik?

Nik: Oh boy! I'm so hungry, I could eat the King's stuff!

June: On second thought, Honey, you were right about asking people for money.

Honey: I would never expect that outta your mouth, June.

June: Shut up.

_(Reality)_

Velvet: Well if that's not the reason, then why are you here?

Honey: Well, I've actually cooked something for Prince. But I don't know if he would like it though.

June: But Honey. You always make calming chocolate cookies. And they taste the same.

Honey: I changed it to calming chocolate pancakes. But you know how I always change the secret ingredient.

June: So why can't you keep the same ingredient?

Honey: Don't you remember the last ingredient I gave to Prince?

_(Flashback)_

Honey: Hey, Prince. I made you some calming cookies if that's alright.

Prince: Calming cookie, huh? I hope it's not like the last time you made them.

_(Another flashback)_

Honey: Prince. Are you alright?

Prince: Yeah. I'm use to my dad screaming at my ear. Are those cookies?

Honey: Yup. These are my calming cookies. Would you like some.

Prince: Hell yeah! This is why I like ya so much.

(So Prince grabbed 3 cookies while Honey blushed a bit. Then he tried the cookies.)

Prince: Woah! Honey! Your cookies really work! They're amazing...ugh.

Honey: Why thank you...but what's wrong? You don't look too good.

Prince: I don't feel good at all...what did you put in these cookies?!

Honey: I only added chocolate chips and almonds!

Prince: ALMONDS?! I'M ALLERGIC TO ALMONDS!!

(Moments later, Prince's body completely blew up, leaving only his head.

Honey: Holy crap, Prince!! Are you alright?

Prince: ...Yeah. I've experienced worse...what; no flashback? (Sigh).

_(Ends that flashback)_

Honey: Don't worry, Prince. These are just double chocolate calming cookies.

Prince: Well, if you say so. Those cookies were good last time, but deadly.

(So Prince tried more calming cookies, and nothing happened to him.)

Prince: Wow! Those cookies were good and safe...ugh.

Honey: Awesome! Oh no, not again! Is your stomach about to explode?

Prince: No...but it feels worse than that!

(Moments later, Prince sped his way to the bathroom).

Honey: But then what's wrong with you then?

Prince: It felt like...and smells like that I've taken...laxatives or something.

(Then Honey took a moment to look at one of her ingredients.)

Honey: Oops. I guess that the chocolate kind wouldn't help you so much.

_(Reality)_

Velvet: You made you're boyfriend constipated and his body explode? That's harsh.

Honey: (Sigh). He's not my boyfriend! That's just wrong.

June: Oh Velvet. Don't you wanna try one of Honey's calming chocolate pancakes?

Velvet: Oh no! I don't want my body in a million pieces and constipated!

Honey: Yeah; you're hilarious. But I didn't add those ingredients this time. I've learned. Besides, you already have no legs. What else you've got to lose?

Velvet: Well, they do look tempting. Fine...I'll take a bite.

(So Velvet took a bite from the pancake, and absolutly nothing happened.)

June: So Velvet? How's your stomach?

Velvet: Never felt better in my life! It tasted better than a Krabby Patty!

Honey: It actually worked! Awesome!! What about you, June? Would you like to try?

June: Sure, I guess.

(So June took a bite).

Honey: So how was it, June?

June: I've think I've fallen in love for the first time.

(Then June noticed Johnson walking by since the King yelling at Prince was finally over).

Johnson: What's up ladies? Maybe later on, we can...

June: Shut up and kiss me, you fool!

(So then June and Johnson french kiss for a long time, making everyone notice).

Havana: Awesome! I'm next.

Velvet: If ya say so, loghead.

(Then Velvet kissed Havana for a long time).

Dipp: Alright, Honey. What did you do this time?

Honey: Do you really wanna know.

Foomin: Yeah. I wanna know...because I want that stuff!

Dipp: Thank you Foomin for the support.

Honey: Sure. It's my calming pancakes. Take only one.

(Then the 20 cousins took a pancake and ate it).

Nickle: Honey! This is the best thing I've ever eaten!

Foomin: That was amazing!

Dipp: May I please have another?

Honey: Sorry, but I have to deliver this to someone.

Dipp: But I want another.

Honey: (Sigh) Fine. As soon as I deliver this batch, I'll make another batch later today.

Dipp: I want another one now.

Honey: But this delivery is very important!

Dipp: Gimme those damn pancakes!!

(After Dipp made a desperate jump for the basket, he missed the basket and Honey ran away).

Peso: Too bad, Dipp. You almost had her.

Dipp: Just shut up and go after her!!

(No one moved, still eating their pancakes).

Havana: Can't you see that we're still on our pancakes?

Dipp: I'll offer you a fair share.

(After that, everyone start to chase Honey and her pancakes. And the only one on her side is June).

(We finally come back to Prince on Earth with another Katamari and a bandage on his butt).

Prince: Alright now. No more mandarins. Jut roll whatever I come to.

(Suddenly he saw a snail coming towards him).

Prince: Alright; no problem. Just roll him up and he' done.

(But as Prince try to roll it over, it kept knocking it down all of his progress so far. So he turned back...only to see one his biggest fears).

Prince: Holy crap!! A butterfly!

(After Prince can from the butterfly and collected a few more things, he fell off the table thing).

Prince: So this house does have another floor. This will be easier than I thought.

(So Prince rolled around the floor to see his biggest jackpots to complete...batteries).

Prince: Now that is pretty sweet! I'm at my goal! I wonder what he'll say now?

King: Did We really ask for 10cm? Well there's still enough time to make the Katamari bigger right? Right. Back to work.

Prince: You asshead! It's perfect the way it is to make a star...what's the use of talking to him? It's like talking to a brick wall; more like brick head.

(So Prince rolled up a few more thing until time ran out of time and had 13.5cm).

Prince: Well, I made the Katamari larger than what he said, but if he want it, he got it.

King: What the frack is this sheesh?! This thing is terrible! We should make you get down here and start again...but you're lucky that this thing is big enough for the star.

Peter Griffin: Dat's what you're mama said! Wooo!

Prince:...okay. I was expecting a 'Thank you son for fixing 'Our' mistakes by doing 'Our' job'. But whatever you could do to piss me off, that's great too.

(Moments later)

King: You've made Star 1. You're next objective will begin in two days.

Prince: Two days?! Why can't it be tomorrow? More importantly, why are you planning everything?!

King: Duh. We have to go to meetings those days. Tomorrow's meeting is entitle for 'Great Kings With Queen's Crowns!'

Prince: At least they got half of that right about him.

(Minutes later, Prince went back to his planet, only to heard a knocking on the door).

Prince: Honey! June! Are you okay?

Honey: I was about to ask the same thing.

June: Oh sure! Say my name second.

(So Prince told his whole story).

Honey: You were chased by a snail?

June: Why didn't you roll him up when you had the chance?

Prince: It's creepier than it sounds...alright, your turn.

(Then Honey told Prince her story)

June: That's always like Dipp. He needs it if he wants it.

Honey: Speaking of which, I saved you some pancakes, Prince; 10 of them.

Prince: Well, if everyone says that their extremly good, I guess I'll try one.

(So Prince grabbed a pancake. But before he could take a bite, Dipp barged through the door with Havana's head).

Dipp: DROP THAT CAKE, PAN-FACE!!

Prince: You know Dipp, the door was wide open.

June: Pan-face?

Dipp: You heard me! I said drop that pancake! I'm not afraid of using this.

Havana: You've could've used Johnson. But oh no! He's too dimwitted to know where's the door at...some excuse.

Prince: If you want a pancake so bad, you could've asked me instead of...using your cousin as a weapon.

Havana: Halleujah! He understands me!

Dipp: But how the hell was I suppose to know she was about to deliver it to you.

Prince: Honey? You did say that the delivery's for me, right?

Honey: Umm, Not exactly to everyone.

June: I'm not in this subject anymore.

Prince: But why didn't you tell who gets the deliveries.

Dipp: All this drama isn't worth the pancake anymore.

Honey: I'm sorry! It's just that I was nervous about people thinking about us having a relationship.

Prince: So you're just embarrassed of me is all, isn't it?

Honey: No! not at all! It's just awkward for me to...love you like that.

Prince: Honey, I love you, but I don't love you like that! You have to think about what the other person thinks of you before you think of you and worry about what other people think of you.

Havana: Don't tell me that this chapter has a moral unrelated to the video games.

Honey: Thanks, Prince. I've think I've learn a valuable lesson.

Havana: GODDAMNIT MAN!!

Prince: Now it's time for pancakes.

Honey: I'll get the syrup!

(Then Honey went to the other room for syrup.)

Prince: Dreams really do come true!

Honey: What was that?

Prince: Nothing!

* * *

End of Chapter 3 and Star 1. I really hope you knew that this story will have barely connection with the games before you read it. Stay tuned for Chapter 4.


	4. Break Time

**Behind the Damacy**

It's a never ending story about what happens if the cousins weren't rolling the Katamari to do whatever the King of all Doofuses broke.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Katamari series. Namco does.

Chapter 4: Break Time.

* * *

Honey: So Prince. How did you enjoy those pancakes?

Prince: These are better than the time mom made her special burgers.

_(Flashback)_

Queen: Alright everyone, dinner time!!

Moments later, Prince and Dipp raced to the kitchen...literaly.

Queen: Umm, Dipp...how did you get here...never mind. Prince, where's your father?

Prince: He didn't say the exact location...though he said that he was going to a private bar.

Queen: I hope it's not a gay bar.

Dipp: Screw him! I wanna have those burgers!!

Queen: Okay then... dig in.

_Moments later, they finally took a bite._

Prince:...Wow, mom, this taste marvelous!! These really are good.

Dipp: He's actually right, aunt queenie. This is tasty.

Queen: You really think so?!

Prince: Yeah! We're gonna go outside and, and enjoy this.

Dipp: Yeah...because it tastes so much better in the outdoors.

Queen: (Sigh). I feel proud of myself that people love my cooking.

_(From outside, which could be heard from the kitchen.)_

Dipp: Holy crap! This tastes like crap!!

Prince: Yes I know, but she's very sensitive about things like this and she really needs my complements.

Dipp: Still. Could she at least attempt to go to a cooking class? These are awful.

Prince: Maybe we should talk about this somewhere else.

Dipp: Yeah...to the nearest wastebasket.

Queen: At least their sarcasm seems convincing.

_(Reality)_

Prince: Waaaaaaaaaaaaay better.

Honey: Awesome.

Prince: Quick question. Why did you make these for me?

Honey: Well, I sorta seen your dad screaming at you, and I thought that you need a break. Why you asked?

Prince: No real reason. Speaking of the King of Lazies, he says that I have to make a star two days from now. So I have some free time.

Honey: Sweet. What are you planning to do 'til then?

Nickel: Hey Prince? Are you ready for the 5th annual automobot convention?

Prince: Well, he just answer your question. See ya later.

Honey: Wait! Can I come with you?

Prince: Sorry, Honey. But the rule states that only one person can bring an entry.

Honey: Oh, okay. See you tommorrow.

Prince: Alrighty. To your car-mode, Nickel.

_(Prince sat on top of Nickel, and they drove away.)_

Honey: Boy. This is more of a downer than the time everyone laughed at my 'first' invention.

_(Flashback)_

Honey: I really want to thank you all for coming to Prince's House for the surprise.

Fujiko: We were forced to come here.

Velvet: Shut up.

Honey: Thank you, Velvet. I want to show you an invention that'll be super efficient. I call it...fire.

Dipp: Interesting name, but what does it do?

Honey: I guess when you need to heat something up...like meat and stuff.

Opeo: Can I touch it?

Honey: Wait! I don't think...

Opeo: HOLY SHIT THIS IS BURNING ME?!?! WHY IS EVERYONE JUST STANDING THERE?! HELP ME!!!!!!!!

(_Marty then lands on Opeo, putting out the fire, but smooshing him in the process.)_

Marty: No thanks are nessesary.

Opeo: You fat bastard!! You broke every bone in my body!!

Dipp: Nice going, Honey, you've nearly killed someone here!! Let's get you fixed up, Opeo.

Honey: (Sigh) To Earth it goes.

_(Honey threw the fire to Earth and it landed near two cavemen.)_

Caveman 1: You dumb as rocks. Why you rub two tree hands?

Caveman 2: Shut up. Me only bored.

Caveman 1: Whatever. I be sleep in turtle shell.

(_Minutes later, the fire landed near the cavemen)_

Caveman 2: Ah! Look! Me made orange burnystuff with two sticks.

Caveman 1: Sure you did. You also Brittney Spears.

Caveman 2: Screw you. Me burn you now!!

_(Let's get to reality before things get out of hand)_

June: Honey? You in? Mind if I come in?

Honey: This IS Prince's house. You know that, right?

June: Alright thanks. Has the drama disappeared?

Honey: Yeah. We talked to each other, and as soon as Dipp and Havana left, things are settled again.

June: Yeah whatever. So...did you tell him?

Honey: Tell him what?

June: That you like-like him, duh.

Honey: Well...sort of. I said that I didn't want a close cousin relationship.

June: In other words, you didn't say that you love him, did you?

Honey: As a cousin, he thinks.

June: You're really pathetic, Honey. What was his response.

Honey: He told me about a moral lesson I really didn't get.

June: That's what happened when you're not descriptive of your relationship. Where is he now?

Honey: At the AutomobotConvention with Nickel. Why?

June: Here's my favorite wind up rain cloud toy! Let's go!!

_(In the automobot convention)_

Prince: Tell me again why are we back again?

Nickel: Dude. We're here because we could participate in the annual Automobot Convention Games.

Prince: Why do you care?

Nickel: Have you seen that shiny trophy? Besides metal, shinny things are the things that are attracting to me.

Prince: Oh really? Because I heard that trophies are mostly meant to show off your skills.

Nickel: Alright fine. You got me. There's this girl name Twinkle that looks really nice and I wanna have a trophy to impress her.

Prince: You do realise that Twinkle is your cousin, right?

Nickel: Thus making this a bigger chance to get her.

Prince: Right...I'll just go get the event forms.

_(Moments later, Nickel sees Honey and June driving right for him.)_

Nickel: No wait! Stop! You're going way too fast!

_(And just like he said, they crashed to Nickel, but with only minor injuries)_

June: Woah. That was a wild ride, eh Honey?

Honey: Re...re...re...remind me...to never...ride with you...again.

June: Yeah whatever...Nickel? Are you alright?

Nickel: Why yes...a collision course with a duck is normal for me.

Honey: Too afraid to respond.

Nickel: Why are you two here anyway? You guys don't have an automobot.

Honey: We have June's favorite wind up rain cloud toy.

June: But forget that. Where's Prince?

Nickel: He's over there getting the forms. He's coming back now.

Prince: Damn those human-sized people. They really are rude...Honey and June. What are you guys doing here?

June: (Holds up wind up rain cloud) We're not going through this again. Honey, do you have anything important to ask this guy?

Honey: Oh yes...Say Prince. You remember me saying that I loved you?

Prince: Uhhhh...I think so.

Honey: What about my pancakes?

Prince: Now I remember. Thanks for the reminder.

Honey: Yeah. You think that I meant that as a cousin relationship?

Prince: Yeah. Cousin relationships are really common.

Honey: You...you think so?

Prince: Yeah...except if the cousins are _in love _with each other. Bleck.

Honey: Oh...you think that, huh?

Prince: Yeah...wait a minute...

Announcer guy: Attention everyone...attention! The Automobot Games will begin in three minutes.

Nickel: Come on, guys. We'll be disqualified if we don't make it.

Prince: Alright. Keep your pants on! (Turns to Honey) We'll talk more about this later.

_(Then Prince and Nickel went ahead, while Honey and June stayed.)_

Honey: Well, it's best that we should be on our way.

June: What the hell is with you, Honey? Why do you always give up when it _looks _bleak?

Honey: Because it is bleak. Besides, we shouldn't rush stupid relationships like this.

June: Rushing huh? You've been with this guy for all of your friggen life!! And ever since, you nearly like-like him.

Honey: You just don't understand!! (Runs off crying)

June: Damnit Honey!! This is worse than my counselling job.

_(Memory)_

June: So...tell me about your case, maam.

Crying girl: I HATE HIM!! HE...HE DUMP ME FOR NO...REASON!! HE CAN SUCK MY BALLS!!

June:...Uhh...thank you for your time. See you tomorrow.

Crying girl: But I'm not finished. I need to tell you about how he force me to change my gender transplants so he could date me.

June: Yeah...your done now. See ya tomorrow.

Crying girl: You hate me for the exact same reason he hate me! _(Runs off leaving)_

June: (Sigh). So I'll pencil her in for 3:00.

_(Reality)_

_(Back in Prince's House)_

Prince: You know, Nickel, we still could've stayed for the food. The nachos are tasty.

Nickel: Shut up. I'm still angry that I only won gold.

Prince: Yeah, if only you've done the triple back flip and meow more smoothly.

Nickel: I still think Optimus cheated.

Prince: Well, I still think that Twinkle will like the silver trophy.

Nickel: Would you really think that a golden star like her will like a silver dud...like me?

Prince: ...I swear that line wasn't planned...And why is this floor wet?

_(Once he turned on the light, he noticed his sink overflowing.)_

Nickel: Way to go, genius. You left the sink on.

Prince: I never used the sink after rolling the Katamari. How are you still alive even on the water.

Nickel: I'm water-proof...and if you didn't use the sink, who did?

Honey: Prince? You're here already? I thought you're gone for the whole day.

Prince: It turns out that Nickel became a sore loser and forced us to come back. More importantly, why the hell are you in my house?

Honey: I was making more pancakes when my stove broke. So I came to your house to make them here...until I found out how dirty your dishes are. So I decide to wash your dishes...until I forgot the sink was running. So that's when you come in.

Dipp: I heard the word pancakes.

Peso & Havana: So have we.

Prince: Of all of the houses in the universe...why my house?

Dipp: First of all, shut up, Prince; secondly, why am I not seeing or smelling pancakes?

Honey: I just got here, and I haven't finished cleaning the dish.

Prince: Everyone. GET OUTTA MY HOUSE...NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_(Everyone left out of the house, except Honey)_

Honey: All I want to do is to make pancakes for you again.

Prince: Next time, you ask me, okay?!

Honey: Okay...there's something wrong with you. Why are you yelling so much?

Prince: I am so sorry, Honey. It's just that my dad decided to make me roll another star twice as big tommorrow.

Honey: Whatever happen to two days later?

Prince: He said that his view of the nighttime sky was too unattractive for him to wait that long. I gotta get to bed.

Honey: All right, I'll clean up the mess.

Prince: Thanks, Honey.

* * *

A/N: Lame ending to this chapter, but I wanted to get this over with for chapter 5, so forgive me on that one.

And the reason I made Prince roll sooner is because I have nothing to fill the void. I still hoped you enjoyed it.


	5. Star 2 and Beyond

**Behind the Damacy**

It's a never ending story about what happens if the cousins weren't rolling the Katamari to do whatever the King of all Doofuses broke.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Katamari series. Namco does.

Chapter 5: Star 2

* * *

_(Back in that random house)_

King: Okay, my son. Are you ready for your next objective.

Prince: No.

King: Good cause instead of another 10 cm., you'll do 20 cm.

Prince: Why does it matter? Why not just roll up 2 10 cm's. and then mash them to one?

King: Because, my shrimpy loyal son, you won't be expecting a break longer than a second while I compliment your progress.

Prince: When was the last time you commplimented anything?

King: Silence. No flashbacks til your done. And since you love flashbacks, I'm giving you only six minutes to complete this task.

Prince: Again, I ask...why am I being timed?

King: So the humans won't be suspicious of the disappearance of the stars and the moon.

Prince: Yeah. Humans are stupid enough to not notice a mass vanishing of the universe excluding their home and a giant ball of sticky stuff rolling around to recreate the stars. Lets get this over with.

King: (voice of General Pepper) Good luck. (Starts time)

Prince: That was spooky...well, 20 cm in 6 minutes? Well, at least the owner of the house made it more horendous and messy.

_(1 minute and 2 cm. later, Prince finds himself under the table...along with someone else)_

Prince: Havana? What the crap? Why are you under here?

Havana: No! This is my cheese! I saw it first!

Mouse 1: Squeak-squeak, squeak. Squeaker squeak! (No way, man. That's our cheese!!)

Mouse 2: Squeak, squeaking squeak! Squeaker squeak! (Yeah, stupid bitch! Give it back!)

Havana: I don't know what you said, but NEVER!!

Prince: Sheesh. I guess this is a job for Super Prince.

_(So Prince used the Katamari to roll up Havana and the cheese up and rolled up to the top of the table.)_

Mouse 3: Oh SQUEAKER SQUEAKING SQUEAKIN with a side of SQEAKING SQUAKING SQUEAK!!! (Oh darn with a side of fries).

_(Later)_

Prince: Havana, why were you chased by mice back there?

Havana: It was either that or going to my new Youtube channel style...and you know how much I hate that crappy beta channel...(looks at fourth wall) Do you?!

Prince: What the hell are you looking at?

Havana: The people outside who are reading this story, but are too scared to review it. Just asking 'them' about the terrible beta channel.

Prince: Reading this as a story? This alone makes you crazier than the time you believed in ghosts.

_(Flashback)_

Shiako: For the last time, stupid, there is no such things as ghost!! Got that?

Everyone: (Storming out messing and complaing about Havana)

Havana: Gosh. No one seems to believe me...you still believe my right Casper?

Casper: Of course I do! I'd believe in anything people say.

Havana: Now you're starting to creep me out...not in a spooky way, but in a friendly way. Bleck

_(Reality)_

Prince: Nevertheless, why don't you want to make the Katamari's if you didn't want to do this or see the new Youtube Beta Channel?

Havana: I honestly forgot about those things. Alright; count me in.

_(After that minute long conversation (slow time, huh?), Prince rolled up to 10 cm in 3 minutes. Fair right?)_

King: Hmm...it's still as small as an embryo's mind in my point of view.

Havana: That's what she said. Whooo!!

Prince: Thanks, guys for your support for my hard work.

King: What are you standing here for? Get back to work!!

Prince: 20 cm is impossible because barely anything here builds up the Katamari!

King: And your point is?

Prince: Let me show you an example. This huge battery should build up a centimeter. Instead, it barely builds up a millemeter! I need bigger stuff.

King: Oh fine. You see those cones over there? You're big enough to roll over those and head into bigger mess territory. Now get back to work!! That costs you a minute (disappears).

Prince: Crap. I thought convincing him to for more space would give me more time...cool, watermelon.

_(So Prince tried to roll the watermelon into a hole, but turns out they were pieces.)_

Prince: Woot! Score one for already done labor. Now what? Those cherries look huge. (heads over to cherries) Great. They're on a vine. Maybe if I hit it, the cherries will fall.

_(As Prince hits the vines, the big cherries fell just as he planned, but since he knocked the vine so hard, all of the watermelon pieces flew off, leaving the Katamari too small to collect the cherries)_

Prince: Damnit. I might as well recollect them.

_(Unfortunately, as Prince tries to roll them up, the watermelon pieces got up with exclamation marks, and ran away)_

Prince: ...Either I must be high without noticing, or those watermelon pieces got up, and ran away through the house...YOU GOT TO BE FU...

King: One minute left.

Prince: Oh crap! What do I do, what do I do?! (Notices the lawn) I know, I'll grab those balls over there. It'll get this ball big enough for the cherries.

Havana: You're making this too easy, Prince.

Prince: Grow up, will ya?! I gotta get going!

_(So Prince rolled up enough...sports equipment...which made the Katamari big enough to grab the cherries. When he rushfully dashed himself to the cherries, he made it up to 21.5 cm with an eggplant and no time to spare)_

King: Did we really ask for 20 cm? Well, since you still have time, might as well proceed with work.

Prince: But there's only one trillionth of a yoctosecond* left.

King: It's still time, right? Get going!

_(One trillionth of a yoctosecond later)_

King: Well then. let's see how you did...it's still the same size as when I left! What were you doing between those times?

Prince: (Sarcastically) I must've dosed off!!

King: Whatever. I'll turn this to into a star...naming it...Pickle-berry Star.

Prince: Why isn't my name that creative?

Havana: Otherwise it'll be stupid, coming from him.

Prince: Good point.

King: Havana? What are you doing in there? And you head is so long horizontally! How disturbing.

Havana: Well I'm sorry if my parents are disfigured.

King: (Angrily) Did you call my sister retarded?!

Havana: (Gulp)

Prince: Now you know how it feels to be punished by him. See ya both.

* * *

_(Much later, in Prince's house (where else))_

Honey: May we come in?

Prince: Sure...you know, Honey, you girls are the only people who knock on my door...sometimes.

Honey: Thanks...I think. So, how was your day at work?

June: Yeah, and don't spare the details. Make it very juicy.

Prince: Well, nothing happened with the details. However, first I found Havana being chased by mice for stealing their cheese. Then he broke the invisible 'fourth wall' and told the so called 'readers' about how bad the new Youtube channels are.

June: I don't know what he means by 'readers' or 'fourth wall', but he's not crazy about how terrible the beta channels are.

Honey: Please proceed.

Prince: As I was saying, after Havana, I picked up watermelon pieces to build up my Katamari. But as I knocked it with a vine, all the watermelon pieces flew to the ground. And as I tried to picked up the pieces, they got up, and ran away.

Honey: That's one of my problems with the Katamari I'm fixing now. Sorry about not telling you earlier.

June: Umm... moving watermelon pieces? Were you high then?

Prince: If I was high then, I wouldn't believed it. After that, I panicked until I picked up some balls to help me, though some were small.

June: Use the details...(throws up in bag).

Prince: (Sighs) Sports balls, woman. Anyway, they help me get some giant cherries and an eggplant. That got me to my goal with no time to spare. After naming the star something random and stupid, Havana decided to talk about your parents deformities...at even at this point, he's having a talk with my dad.

June: All of that happened?! (ROFL) Whew! That's funnier than that story you told about Slip teaching you and Opeo how to fly.

_(Flashback: near the edge of the world)_

Opeo: Are you sure about this?

Prince: This looks too dangerous.

Slip: What are you guys talking about? You got the wind; now you jump off and thing about men stuff: football! Nude women! Money!

Prince & Opeo: (Jumps off, but screams) We're going to die!!

Slip: What are you, gay?

_(Reality)_

Prince: (Shudders) Please don't remind me about that. (Turns to Honey) You said that the Katamaris have a bug, right?

Honey: Yes. I knew that things would escape and run off, but I didn't know it was this serious. I'll get it fixed as soon as I can.

Prince: Please do. I don't want to wind up like Havana. But I still have tomorrow off before my next star. I hear that it'll be in a new location...sweet.

Honey: You have the day off? Great! I want to test out my updated Katamaris with you on the Mushroom Planet (Slightly blushes). Would you like to come?

Prince: Sounds like a great idea. Can't wait til then.

June: Awww. Look who finally have a date with her love.

Prince: What she say?

Honey: Oh she's just delusional. Come on, June.

Prince: That was really wierd of June to say. Whatever. I'll go see Havana getting 'the talk'

_(Cutaway to Havana)_

King: (Shoots lasers) AND ANOTHER THING!! YOU DO NOT CALL ANYONE IN MY FAMILY RETARDED, BECAUSE MY SISTER IS NOT RETARDED LIKE YOUR PARENTS!! GOT IT?!

Havana: But isn't my mom your sister.

King: YOU DARE QUESTION ME?!

_(Cutaway to Honey and June)_

June: What the hell was that for?!

Honey: How would you feel if I told your secret about you and Peso.

June: Don't you dare!! No one must know the 'Prankster Couple' idenities!!

Honey: The what? I though you were in love with him.

June: That's very true, which was why we formed that group. Please don't tell.

Honey: I won't...if you won't spill my...love for Prince like that.

June: Sorry if I angered you anyway. But still, you have to tell him before someone else will.

Honey: I hated when your right.

_(Flashback)_

June: Honey! If you watch that movie, you'll go brain dead.

Honey: Pul-ease. I'm gonna at least give it a chance.

June: Don't say I've warned you. (Runs off)

T.V: We now return to Cinderella 3.

Honey: (Immediatly goes brain dead)

_(Reality)_

Honey: (Shudders) That horrible squeal...Okay, I'll tell during out Katamari testing.

June: Are you?

Honey: Yes, I'll tell him...hopefully.

* * *

A/N: So ends another funny and dramatic-ish chapter. Next will be the multiplayer playthrough between Prince and Honey to test out the updated Katamari. But will Honey have the guts to tell Prince that she loves him? And is Havana right about the 'fourth wall,' 'readers,' and crappy beta channels? Prove him right by posting a review below.

Added Notes: If you play Katamari Damacy, the watermelon pieces won't move if they're knocked out the Katamari.

*More Added Notes: A yoctosecond is the smallest unit of time. Multiply that by 1/one trillion...you get the idea.


End file.
